https://hackspirit.com/7-shadow-work-techniques-to-heal-the-wounded-self/
Here are 8 ways to practice shadow work:
1. Believe you are worthy and that things will get better
The first step in overcoming your shadow self and taking back your life is to acknowledge that you are worthy of good things.
When we are feeling low it is easy to continue to feel that way. Humans have an uncanny ability to feel sorry for themselves, and sometimes that is all we want to do and it serves its purpose.
But sometimes, that self-pity takes hold of us and makes it very difficult for us to get out of the rut and get back to our normal routines, or even better, our best self.
Some people have yet to unlock the secret to living their best life and that’s usually because they don’t allow themselves to believe that things can be better.
And it’s important to keep in mind that when you engage in shadow work, you may not like what you find. But it’s also important to keep in mind that the unconscious is all evil. It’s also our source of highest good:
“The unconscious is not just evil by nature, it is also the source of the highest good: not only dark but also light, not only bestial, semihuman, and demonic but superhuman, spiritual, and, in the classical sense of the word, “divine.” – Carl Jung
2. Pay attention to the emotions you feel
No emotions are bad.
Our negative emotions are portals into the shadow. They help us determine our wounds and fears.
When you feel an emotion, take a minute to examine it. Ask yourself the following questions:
What am I feeling?
Why am I feeling this?
Wait for answers.
Don’t be frustrated if the answers do not come right away. Sometimes, the answers need time to be found and you’ll know it.
Never force answers and jump into conclusion because they might be the wrong ones. Shadow work is considered soul work and it happens on its own timeline. Just be patient and know that in time, the answers will come.
This steps simply means to accept what comes up for you, when it comes up, and acknowledge that you are an emotional being that may, from time to time, find it difficult to manage your emotions.
If you are working to tame your shadow self, then you’ll be paying attention to these moments so that you can stay with them, rather than try to run from them.
So many people simply want to feel better in the moments where we feel the greatest amount of discomfort, but if we can stay with our emotions, name them and be grateful for them, we can overcome them and move on to better things.
The better life is not created by not experiencing those emotions, but by experiencing all of them with gratitude.
3. Identify the shadow
Our shadows are located in our subconscious. We buried them there that’s why it’s tricky to identify it.
In order to perform shadow work, we need to identify the shadow. The first step is to become aware of the recurrent feelings that you always feel. Identifying these patterns will help highlight the shadow.
Some common shadow beliefs are:
I am not good enough.
I am unloveable.
I am flawed.
My feelings are not valid.
I must take care of everyone around me.
Why can’t I just be normal just like others?
4. Investigate your feelings objectively and with compassion
It’s hard to do shadow work objectively and with compassion. It’s easier to investigate and blame other people why you end up that way.
On the other hand, understanding why the people who hurt you acted in a particular way is hard to accept. But in order to heal ourselves, we must forgive those who hurt us in order to move on.
Try to navigate that they did the best they could do at that time or were simply acting from their own wounds.
It’s also easy to feel bad about yourself for having these negative feelings. But there’s no reason to feel bad. We all experience negative emotions. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.
It’s important to accept our negative emotions and be okay with them.
According to philosopher Alan Watts, Carl Jung was the kind of man who could feel something negative and not be ashamed about it:
“[Jung] was the sort of man who could feel anxious and afraid and guilty without being ashamed of feeling this way. In other words, he understood that an integrated person is not a person who has simply eliminated the sense of guilt or the sense of anxiety from his life – who is fearless and wooden and kind of sage of stone. He is a person who feels all these things, but has no recriminations against himself for feeling them.” – Alan Watts
5. Explore the shadow
Psychologists use art therapy as a way to help patients explore their inner selves. It is because art is a great way to allow your Shadow to manifest itself. Here are some ways to express the shadow:
Journaling
When you write, it allows you to feel emotions and empty your head of the thoughts rumbling around. It’s like magic – even when you write thoughts that have no sense.
Just write whatever comes to mind because you can’t do it wrong.
Write a letter
Write a letter to yourself or to those who hurt you. You don’t have to actually send the letter, just let all your feelings out.
Tell the person in mind what you feel and why you feel it. Writing a letter will validate yourself and your emotions. You can burn the letter after you write it as a symbolic release.
Meditate
In meditation, we gain insights about why we feel certain ways. It helps us understand and objectively delve deeper about our emotions, then allow ourselves to heal.
One example is forgiveness meditation. You can picture a person who hurt you in your mind and say, “May you be happy, may you be at peace, may you be free of suffering.”
Feel
You will never heal unless you allow yourself to face the emotion you’re scared of. So explore them, write about them and make art out of them.
To experience yourself as a whole, loved, and lovable, you need to own up to your emotions.
Dreams
Our thoughts and deepest emotions can come out in dreams, according to Jung. When you experience a dream, write down what occurred immediately so you don’t forget.
By understanding your dreams, you might understand more about yourself.
“The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens to that primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was conscious ego and will be soul far beyond what a conscious ego could ever reach.” – Carl Jung
However, Jung says that it’s important to understand that one dream by itself might not mean much, but patterns from multiple dreams might:
“An obscure dream, taken by itself, can rarely be interpreted with any certainty, so that I attach little importance to the interpretation of single dreams. With a series of dreams we can have more confidence in our interpretations, for the later dreams correct the mistakes we have made in handling those that went before. We are also better able, in a dream series, to recognize the important contents and basic themes.” – Carl Jung
Remember that the shadow thrives in secret but they are part of who you are. Bring the hidden parts of yourself to light and bathe them in self-love and acceptance.
Sometimes, the process hurts but it will make you a better person.
Keep in mind:
When it comes down to getting what you want, you have to not only confront your inner darkness but embrace it.
Rather than try to turn it off when you feel the shadow self-rearing its ugly head, allow yourself to feel it and be curious about it.
In some cases, you might find that it serves you, especially when you are trying to protect yourself from things that might otherwise threaten your higher self.
When you tap into your shadow self properly, it can be a powerful alter ego that can help you manage trying situations.
It’s when you let it rule your life, or pretend you don’t have a shadow self that problems persist.
6. Nurture your inner child
Our childhood traumas can be caused by the way we were parented or other people who hurt us. It can result in deep wounds that can create behavioral and emotional patterns that create our personality.
Most of the time, our childhood wounds are the most painful. They haunt us and tell us we’re not worthy of love, or that our feelings are wrong, or that we have to take care of everything because nobody was around to take care of us.
Nurturing your inner child involves traveling back in time to when you were hurt and give yourself love. You can do this by:
1. Go back to the time in your life when you felt most vulnerable.
It can be a scene where you got hurt or a time in your life when you felt vulnerable. Hold that image of yourself in your mind. Stay aware, taking in any messages that arise during that time.
2. Give the younger you compassion
While reliving the moment, give love to your younger self. Tell yourself, “I love you and I’m here for you. It will be okay, it’s not your fault and you did nothing to deserve this.” You can also give a hug to your younger self.
One thing is for sure when doing shadow work, it is uncomfortable, to say the least. Who would enjoy owning up to their flaws, weaknesses, selfishness, hate, and all the negative emotions they feel? Nobody.
But while focusing on our positive side is enjoyable and boosts our confidence, shadow work can help us grow and develop into a better version of ourselves.
Jung writes in the book Psychology and Alchemy, “There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection.”
With shadow work, we become whole to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Over the past few decades, scientists have grown increasingly interested in happiness: What makes us happy or unhappy? How can we increase our happiness?
Recent research indicates that Buddhism has an incredible amount to teach us about living happier and more satisfying lives.
By unwrapping iconic Buddhist teachings, our new practical, evidence-based eBook details specific actions you can take to dramatically improve your everyday life.
